I Wonder

Some of you know that my family girl movie is "You've Got Mail."  My girls and I can run the lines and love to watch it when we are together.  There is something about it that is restful.  I was watching it the other day while getting other things done when Kathleen Kelly (played by Meg Ryan) was typing her email - the words played out in my mind as I thought about my life.

Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead
a small life. Well, not small, but
circumscribed. And sometimes I wonder,
do I do it because I like it, or because
I haven't been brave?

I could hear myself saying them - kinda sad - kinda not - kinda just not sure but none-the-less they resinated in me.  I am at a new phase in my life which leaves me wondering.  Looking back on the years that I have invested in my family, running to soccer games, musicals, horse lessons, voice and piano...etc. I now wonder what God wants of me in this new phase which came upon me so quickly.  I have no regrets of the time I have invested in my family but now feel much like Kathleen Kelly in the movie.  So I will end with the next line in the movie.

I don't really want an answer. I just
want to send this cosmic question out
into the void. So goodnight, dear void.