Believe

Twice today I have blogged and twice my blog got accidentally deleted. (when I was almost done) Seriously, this laptop has the lightest touch ever and if anyone knows how to "undo" delete on blogger please inform me.

I have been battling a bad cold for the past 4 days and have not felt like blogging at all. My mind has been in a fog - all cloudy and stuff. We skyped with Denise today over in Thailand and she was so funny to me. She has never ever been a late night person, but she was just getting slap happy and realized it was 2:30 am for her. Jet lag and the new time difference were an issue. I think she could have kept talking except Mike was trying to sleep next to her and she was just getting funny. I loved seeing that in her, especially after the fatigue she had so much last month. Please keep her and her team of girls in prayer this month as they have a very tough ministry ahead of them.

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Surrender is a funny thing. in our minds we want to surrender all to God, but in our hearts we are far from it. (or is it the other way around?) I remember a time not long ago when I took a bike ride on the Macomb Orchard Trail. It was wide open and I just let go of the handlebars, opened up my arms and felt like I was flying. I think surrender with God is a lot like that. At first it's kinda scary to let go, but when you do it feels so free. Yup, once in a while we may reach down and try to grab hold again, just to balance ourself, but the feeling of being so free is awesome so we let go again. I also think that surrender is a daily thing. In this world it is way too easy to pick up our life and forget to let God lead. I know I am guilty of that way too often. We think things like "but God, is this really what you want? - "but God, are you sure?" - "but God, why is this happening?" - always questioning God. "Seriously" I tell myself, this is the creator of the Universe and I am questioning him.

Jesus told Thomas "stop doubting and believe." We are so often like Thomas and God is always telling us to stop doubing and believe. Jesus says in Matthew 16 - "For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it." Talk about surrender at it's fullest. I love how Jesus says 'whoever loses his life for me'. It is a surrender to Jesus - your whole life.

"Here God, please take all of me" - but you know what? We also have to give it all and I think he is just waiting for us to do that. We can hold on so tighly but we have to let go in order to surrender.